I decided on this theme in early 2023. I knew it was time to step out of my comfort zone and engage in an unfiltered conversation about sex. Now that the time has come, I have a lot of fear and shame around openly talking about sexuality, as I’m sure many of us have. The idea of postponing this theme until I felt ready seemed like a tempting escape but I’ll never be ready if I don’t accept the fear and move through it.
So, here we are, on the cusp of an exploration into what I term “erotic freedom.” For me, erotic freedom encompasses the idea of being sexually liberated, of understanding that sex is not merely a biological function for reproduction. It’s a fundamental part of the human experience, and it shapes our identities in profound ways. To unlock our most authentic erotic selves, we must first acknowledge this facet of our existence.
Now, let me be clear – when I speak of erotic freedom, I’m not advocating promiscuity with every passing person. Instead, it’s about cultivating conscious and meaningful connections, within oneself or with your partner/s. It’s not a subject we often discuss, even with the people we’re having it with!
The barriers to embracing erotic freedom are substantial, rooted in the fact that sexuality is repressed in many cultures. Getting rid of shame around sexuality is extremely hard to do. As a society, we are so disconnected from our own sexuality and our bodies. Our sexual education is very limited, mostly revolving around reproduction and hetero men’s pleasure –penis in vagina (PiV) penetration. Our society via the madonna/whore complex, and what’s shown in porn, tv and movies have supported this belief. I never learned about non-hetero sex until having my own explorations. Many religions don’t accept sex for pleasure. It’s not uncommon for women to have never experienced an orgasm, as their pleasure has often been dismissed or overlooked. The clitoris wasn’t even shown in textbooks until recently. Even the language surrounding sex, like the term “foreplay,” implies that it’s a mere precursor to the “main event” of PiV penetration. In addition to that, it’s usually over once the man ejaculates.
The presence of trauma around sexuality further complicates our relationship with this subject, leading to a host of barriers and taboos. The path to erotic freedom may not be a straightforward one. It might involve challenging conversations, personal healing, and unearthing buried emotions. It’s a path that requires resilience, vulnerability, and a willingness to explore uncharted territories within ourselves.
My goal is to emphasize the significance of addressing this vital subject, one that cannot be ignored or swept under the rug. Through our collective journey towards erotic freedom, we discover pathways to healing and embracing our eroticism. Developing a self-pleasure practice that incorporates breathwork as a means to reconnect with our own bodies and desires is so very important. Breathwork can be a powerful tool for enhancing our awareness of the present moment and deepening our connection with our most authentic erotic selves.
Our journey towards claiming erotic freedom is not just a personal exploration but a collective endeavor to challenge the norms and limitations that have constrained our understanding of sexuality. It’s a path that demands courage and authenticity, where fear and shame must be faced head-on. It’s about redefining what sexual liberation truly means to us, and embracing the full spectrum of human sensuality.
Own your energy,
Karolyne
xo